THE DOTS

The same thing that made a villain is what made the superhero too.

How did we handle the pain? Is everyone that's just naturally nice or Are some people just born cruel?

Note these three things 'Collecting the dots', 'Connecting the dots', and Correcting the dots'.

I learned these three concepts recently which I believe are essential in working through trauma and our responses in life.

Collecting the dots.

'If painful memories make you cry, write them down and write them carefully'.

'If painful memories make you cry, write them down and write them carefully'.Let's start at the beginning and let your memories leak out in liquid pen strokes. Don't fear how the words come out get entangled in any timeline, or feel like you have to ensure every detail is precise and correct. It's not about getting it all right but getting it all out. Unresolved issues and undealt-with wounds make people say and do things that can hurt. Those things that happen in our lives don't just tell a story. They inform us of the story we tell ourselves. If we listen carefully, woven throughout our narratives is a belief system that is inside of us as children.

Connecting the dots.

Perhaps is time we link the dots, somewhere in here you see why you act the way you act, where the trust issues, self-sabotaging or fear might have stemmed from. What we experience throughout life impacts the perceptions we carry. The longer we carry those perceptions, the more they become the truths we believe, live by, operate under, and use to help us navigate life today. It's important to make these connections between what happened in our growing-up years and the reasons we do some of the things we do, say some of the things we say, and believe some of the things we believe. The things marking us from yesterday are still part of the making of us today.

Correcting the dots.

Here friends is where we correct the dots, It's crucial to be able to acknowledge the deep, deep pain in all its forms. Again, while we cannot change what happened, we get to choose what we now believe and how what happened changes us for better or worse. Soft hearts don't break or beat or belittle, but broken hearts with unhealed pasts can be found traveling on the wrong paths. Emotional healing is not so much a level to reach as it is a new way of thinking you choose. We learn the lesson that lessens the grip of pain the impossible strain to resist what now must be accepted.

I am always rooting for you,

Emmanuella Ubokabasi

A potent inspiration and lesson learned from — 'Forgiving What You Can't' Book by Lysa TerKeurst