The Mirage of the Past - Letting go

“The past is in the past, the past is not my concern, the future isn’t either” - A statement made by Thomas Shelby in the movie - Peaky Blinders.

A mirage is the deceptive appearance of a distant object. About the topic of discussion -A mirage is simply an unrealistic hope or wish that cannot be achieved.

One of the hardest parts of recovery for me was letting go or forgetting the past. I was so hung on my mistakes, misdeeds, foolishness, and pain of the past. The more I yearn for the past, the more I get stuck in it. The more I realized I was stuck, the more depression crept in. The same goes for every human being.

We ought to learn from the past and let go. As simple as that statement sounds, it could be difficult. We passed by the past the last time we last past it. There are many people out there who wish to go back in time, including me. It’s painful but true, nothing can be done about the past. It’s past! Courage is facing this painful truth. I understand why letting go may seem hard. I guess sometimes it's just realizing you've lost too much and it's about time to create something for yourself. The reality is we are trapped by holding on to the mistakes made.

John Maxwell wrote in his book a profound statement by Elbert Hubbard -

“A retentive memory may be good, but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness. Successful people forget. They know the past is irrevocable. They’re running a race. They can’t afford to look behind. Their eye is on the finish line. Magnanimous people forget. They’re too big to let little things disturb them. They forget easily. If anyone does them wrong, they consider the source and keep cool. It’s only the small people who cherish revenge. Be a good forgetter. Business dictates it, and success demands it.”

The sooner we realize that our actions going onward can only change the future and not the past, the better. It is said that the best way to predict the future you want is to create it. A driver should look at the rear mirror occasionally, but not give it his complete attention. The best way to know the power and advantage of letting go is when you do it yourself. You can’t change yesterday. You can’t count on tomorrow. But you can choose what you do today.

“We are never going to have a better past but in trauma recovery, we can put together the pieces of our past in a way that doesn’t blame us for things that happened to us; Things that we couldn’t possibly control even if we wanted to; the things we have been carrying with shame for years.” - Dr.Glenn Patrick Doyle